i have cancer.
It still feels surreal typing those three words. On Good Friday, I got a phone call that changed my life. “You have lymphoma.” The 12 days since then have been a whirlwind to say the least. I would describe it in the following stages:
Chapter I - Good Friday & Easter Weekend
I would be washing the dishes or mowing the lawn and I would just start crying thinking about Karis’ wedding or Judah’s football games. At that point I had no idea how serious this was and how much time I had so I was all over the place with my thoughts. No one ever wants to get the news that they have cancer but honestly, getting this news on Easter Weekend was such a gift. Hours after I got the news I was sitting in church worshipping, praying, and being reminded of what Jesus went through that fateful night to put death to death. I was a wreck again, but in a really good way. Then on Easter Sunday we got to celebrate that death has lost its sting and that it has no victory.
Chapter II - My 1st Oncology Appointment
Sitting in my car in the parking lot of the oncology office, I felt a little bit like I did in high school sitting in the locker room before a football game. The hairs were standing up on the back of my neck, I was super alert, and overall just felt like my body was on edge. I knew I had to go in so I prayed and went for it. The people at Columbus Oncology were all incredibly kind. Dr. Burkart was great. He told me what he thought I had but said that because lymphoma has so many different types, it can sometimes be hard to determine exactly where we are on the spectrum. His best guess was DLBCL (Aggressive Diffuse Large B-Cell Lymphoma). He recommended that I get a bunch of tests done and plan on starting chemo in about two weeks. This was both encouraging (because if it is the type of lymphoma he thought then it is common and treatable) and also shocking (because of how rapidly the chemo would likely start). Other than feeling like I have a tennis ball in my throat, I feel completely healthy and fine.
Chapter III - The Tests
I spent the next week getting several tests done: lots of bloodwork, bone marrow, echocardiogram, and PET & CT scans. I also got a port put in in preparation for the chemo. We also started sharing the news with as many people as possible and inviting them to pray with us… and WOW… have we been blow away by the kindness, love, and support we have received from so many friends, both near and far. As James said in James 5:16, The prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective for sure… but he never could have imagined the prayers of the Virginia minivan moms! Before I knew it, people were texting me to tell me they had heard and that they were praying. So many calls and texts poured in, I couldn’t keep up. It was overwhelming in a really awesome way. Thank you to all of you who reached out. It meant the world to me (even if I haven’t responded yet)!
Chapter IV - The Plan
After all of the tests were done, it was time to meet back with Dr. Burkart to see what the results were and to talk about a treatment plan. The echo and bone marrow both came back normal. Praise the Lord! Because this is blood cancer, it could be anywhere so this was great news! The PET & CT scans revealed that there are 2 other locations in my neck/throat area where there is some activity but at least it is all confined to that area. The bad news is, it still isn’t clear exactly which type of Non Hodgkin’s B-Cell Lymphoma I have. Regardless, Dr. Burkart was encouraging us to get admitted to the hospital right away to begin chemo treatments. We felt that since we didn’t know exactly what it was, and since we had a second opinion scheduled in 1 week at the James Cancer Center at Ohio State, that we would wait.
Dr. Burkart had already reached out to several doctors at the James to get their opinions. On Wednesday night, Dr. Burkart called to let me know that the OSU pathologist felt like we needed to classify it as Burkitt’s Lymphoma. Because Burkitt’s is a more rare and aggressive form of lymphoma, Dr. Burkart would officially be passing me off to the James. He recommended that I get admitted ASAP to undergo a few more tests and begin chemo.
It has been a whirlwind and that brings us to today. It is Thursday morning and I’m beginning a blog detailing my cancer experience. I have no clue where this will go but I do know several things:
God is good no matter what happens. I genuinely believe that with every fiber of my being. I can’t explain it but I have experienced a peace that surpasses understanding since this begun.
I will do everything in my power to fight this thing. Since I found out I had cancer 12 days ago, I have not touched coffee, alcohol, processed foods, dairy, or any meat products. Those of you who know me no how crazy that is. Kelsey is super healthy and when I’m with her at home I eat very healthy. But when I am hanging out with college students I eat like they do (and love it)! I have experienced 0 withdrawal symptoms… not… one. I was a 2-3 cup a day coffee drinker, usually a soda a day, fast food multiple times a week, and give me all the processed sugar kind of guy. I dropped it all cold turkey almost two weeks ago and I have felt nothing short of amazing physically since only eating raw vegetables, fruits, and nuts.
As much as I want to go to Heaven and see Jesus face-to-face and I long for the day when there will be no more crying, pain, or tears, I do not think my time here is done yet. I have all the motivation I need in my beautiful wife and kids as well as my family, all our dear friends, and the entire OSU community. We love you all dearly and I’m not planing on going anywhere yet… There are still more people to bring with us to Heaven after all!
Thank you!!
Thank you for all the prayers, encouragement, information, worship songs, calls, and texts. It genuinely has been incredibly encouraging. We are hoping this blog will be a one-stop-shop where I (and maybe my family) can post updates and prayer requests. Feel free to share it far and wide- the more people praying, the better!
My prayer today is that I would suffer well. I genuinely don’t believe I need answers to all the millions of questions that I have now, or the ones that will likely continue to rush through my head. All I need is to cling to a few great promises like:
I have an “inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you.” (1 Peter 3:1-4)
I have a God who is the “God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
I have access to “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)
As we walk through this storm, we are NOT alone (Mark 4:35-41)
And what is intended for evil, God intends for good, for the salvation of many (Genesis 50:20)
